4-H was such a big part of my life from 9-19 years of age
(and even beyond because I had 2 younger sisters who were still in 4-H after I
finished). There were joys and triumphs and there were challenges and
disappointments over the course of my 4-H career. Looking back, the rough times were probably
just as important to my development and learning as the rewards and
recognition. When the “going got tough” I was taught to be resourceful and
resilient. Like in my 2nd year, when my prize-winning ewe died
before I could bring her back and show her as a yearling. Or in my 3rd year, when I cut
through the strap of the jumper I’d spent days sewing for my clothing project. That was not a happy afternoon with my mom. And
now I “get it”. As a parent, trying to help your child with a project, you
become pretty invested. After teaching
high school sewing for years with very little drama, I was surprised by the
stress involved with teaching my own young daughter to sew her first clothing
project. There was the time that the plastic cover on one of my poster
projects bubbled up from heat, just hours before the fair. There was a dumped
plate of cookies or muffins that needed to be re-made dangerously close to
judging check-in. And I seem to remember
an incident with the clippers and the underside of a wether as we were shearing
sheep before the fair. This resulted
in a frantic ride to the vet, holding onto to that lamb, in the back of my
dad’s truck and praying that he would be alright…and that I’d still be able to
show that Wednesday. I could go
on. And I know that I’m not alone. Ask any 4-Her, they all have these stories of
near failures. “Learning experiences”, we like to call them. But did we throw
up our hands in defeat? NO! We figured
out how to fix it. How to complete what we started. If plan A and B don’t work, what is plan C? At an early age, 4-H
taught me that important life lesson that sometimes things don’t go exactly as
you want them to. Sometimes you have to adapt. Sometimes you need to go back to
the good ol’ drawing board. And
sometimes you need to ask for help.
In my 4-H community,
if I asked for help, there was always someone willing to take their time and
help me or teach me. If the person I
asked first couldn’t help or didn’t know how to help, they would find someone
who could. How great is that?! Let’s
translate this “actions speak louder than words” message into a kid’s point of
view: If kids know they have people that
they can count on and who will take the time to teach and help them, doesn’t
that make a kid feel worthwhile? Not to mention more secure and trusting (and
not in a naïve, talk to strangers kind of way). And then, one day, that child might emulate
the behavior that was modeled to them. Thus, helping others and investing their
time, developing a can-do attitude that not only might make them well-liked but
possibly even more successful in their professional lives. And there’s that
whole sense of satisfaction that comes from doing the right thing. It feels
good to help others! Okay, now I’m
rambling….but I’m just sayin’!
4-H also offered me opportunities to travel outside of my little
community. Trips like 4-H Round-Up at Purdue University at the age of 13, when
I got to stay in a dorm room and meet other 4-Hers which began my love affair
with that campus in West Lafayette, IN. I was able to visit college classrooms
and participate in workshops focused on career choices that eventually led me
to study there and earn a degree. There were trips to Washington, DC through
Citizenship Focus and REMC that enabled delegates see our nation’s capitol and
develop an understanding for how our government works (or fails to work) and
interact with our legislators. And because 4-H focuses on record keeping, I was
able to complete Achievement record books and compete to win a trip to 4-H
Congress in Chicago where I spent a week in the Hilton and Towers meeting with
corporate sponsors, exploring the city, and making new friends from all over
the country. In my own region, I
attended workshops, took service/work trips, volunteered, and served as a camp
counselor. These experiences were packed with fun, learning, and friendships.
Speaking of friendships, those I made through my time in 4-H
have endured a lifetime. As a 4-H Jr. Leader, I made some of the best friends I
could ever ask for. And when our 4-H community was faced with the loss of two
fellow Jr. Leaders, we bonded together through our grief. As difficult as it
was to comprehend the loss of one of our peers at the young age of 15 or 16, we
supported one another. In true 4-H fashion, we sought to give back to the
community in the form of a tribute to our friends that still stands 20 years
later in the form of a Memorial Garden at the fairgrounds. I’m still a little astounded
when I type the words, “20 years later.” How can it be possible that much
time has passed? These days I enjoy looking at the pictures of my friends’
children doing 4-H back in the county where I grew up or wherever in the
country they have moved and started their families. It’s pretty awesome that we’re all going
through this stage of our lives together too. Parenthood. Experiencing what our parents got to experience as 4-H
moms and dads.
So yes, it may sound strange to say that I knew my kids
would be in 4-H before I even had children. But it’s true. Because 4-H made
such a positive impact on my life and I want that for my children as well. This
past year my husband took a job that requires a good deal of travel. I was
essentially acting as a single parent during the week. Mike’s travel schedule, combined with me working
full-time and having a new baby in the house took their toll on the amount of
time and attention I had left to give at the end of the day. I could feel
the loss of quality time with my daughters. Teachable moments were slipping
through my fingers and I just did not have the time or energy to make them
happen. By the time I got home for the
day, I was exhausted. It was dinner, homework, pack our bags for the next day,
and the bedtime ritual. Weekends were spent cleaning up the house, yard work,
grocery shopping, homework, lesson plans, and finally church on Sunday. I know this situation is not unique to us and
I know that many of you are living this. So, no judgement. Each family does
what they need to do and what is best for them.
In April, I resigned from my job. In May we started our 4-H projects. As
it turns out, Ava’s projects were just what the doctor ordered to reconnect
with my kiddos. Eventually children are
able to be more independent in working on their projects. However, this 1st
year, I needed to provide guidance for Ava as she navigated the 15 learning
activities for her nutrition project and the 10 sections of her sewing project.
We were side by side as we tackled these projects. Or I should say side by side
by side because Emily was right there
with us learning and asking questions, eager to participate. Or maybe even side
by side by side by side, because baby Aidan was in the mix as well, although
often underfoot. Yes, there were moments
of frustration. “Mom, WHY are you making me practice this over and over? I want
to go out and play.” But for the most
part, we had fun and we learned, and we talked. We spent quality time away from the Kindle
and I pad and real hands-on learning and bonding happened! And I think, for now at least, that I have
even gained a little respect for my teaching methods from Ava. She gave me a
bit of a hard time when I emphasized precision with her sewing project, making
her carefully measure and press and sew straight seams. But after her first
victory on the fashion revue stage this summer, she was on Cloud 9. As we
walked into the parking lot after the show, she announced enthusiastically, to
no one in particular, “My mom was right! Always listen to your mom! She knows
what she is talking about…” Ha! I may
never hear her say those words again, but it certainly was the highlight of my
evening.
Nearly 20 years have passed since I completed my 4-H
experience and even though I hold that time dear to my heart, I think I forgot
how much I really loved being part of the 4-H program. This summer I re-caught
the “4-H fever” and I’m happy to announce that the girls caught it too! Even
baby Aidan, who wasn’t a fan of the pigs until this final week before fair, has
come around. I have loved every moment of our swine project. From driving out
to the barn while signing songs at the top of our lungs with the windows down,
to watching the girls overcome fears and tentativeness around livestock and
learning to deal with “things that are gross”. It has been especially exciting
to see the girls work as a team (because Lord knows they have their share of
sisterly spats) to take care of “Pork Chop and Bacon” and execute the daily exercise
regime (lots of pig walking!). Whenever
anything goes wrong in the barn I can always count on Emily to instruct, “Toughen
up, Buttercup!” or Ava to say, “You’re fine, rub some bacon on it” followed by
a giggle. It’s been awesome to see our family work toward a goal together. At
home it might be a struggle at times to get the kids to clean up their rooms or
complete other chores, but in the barn it’s like we’re all the best version of
ourselves. There is very little complaining when I say, “brush this, sweep
that, grab a shovel, it’s time to practice showmanship…” I am so proud of these
kiddos! This time spent working together and making memories has been
invaluable and I am grateful.
With that said, here are some pictures of my favorite” barn
moments” this summer. To view, just click the link.http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=8AbNnDlq4ZN2Qf
